Are you exercising free will or just reacting? Sitting and getting clear on what you want and being about what you're about will help determine what you actually want in life rather than comparison and reaction or defaulting to someone else's expectation.
While you do the necessary things you're not excited about, do not focus on how you feel. DO THE THINGS. Start mindlessly. Unemotionally. Sneak up on it. Do it quietly. Just do it.
Confidence says, "Hey, I'm good. I got this. I trust me." Arrogance says, "I'm better than you." Be self-assured, not self-obsessed. Be confident, not narcissistic. Be about what you're about.
Mindfulness can help you identify thoughts and feelings for a better understanding of the self. Some thoughts and feelings can be experienced so strongly that we can be swept away from the present and ourselves.
Know why you will or won't do what you will or won't do. If you default, you mindlessly go with society -you will find yourself doing things without understanding - because it is EXPECTED. Without understanding, without taking the time to find out what you're about, your resolve will wither and your foundation will crumble.
Your perception of someone is limited by your experience of them. People are not the limits of your perception. What stories are you holding on to? What is driving you?